Vena Cava Filter

I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday. I was really pooped, and I'm sure today will be no better. Yesterday, we found out that they are going to delay Ken's surgery. They are going to send him to Mason City on Wednesday (at least that's the day they thought it would happen) and there they'd put a filter in his Vena Cava. This filter is meant to catch and blood clots that might come up from his legs, which is what they thought happened when he developed a blood clot in his lungs. We both think this is a good idea. And from the sounds of it, it is relatively painless and simple. Then on Thursday, they'll repair the hernia in Emmetsburg. I'm just glad that I have Friday and Monday off. The long winter has stretched out into a long spring!

Hospital Scrabble

I don't have much of a reason for not writing yesterday. I ran around and did a lot of things. However, today was far worse...in several ways.

After putting another coat of paint on my porch floor (I did the first one on Saturday) and making myself a couple of meals for the week, I headed for my mom and dad's to help them start the moving process. The big push for the move to the new apartment is tomorrow, but they needed little things moved today. On the way I stopped at Ken's to pick up empty boxes. While there, I asked Ken if he was sure that he didn't want to go with me. He was bored stiff and said he would go, but he'd take it easy as per his doctor's orders regarding his hernia. Well, of course, he was a bit more active than he planned on. It's hard for Ken to sit still and watch while other people are working. And it wasn't too long before he felt some slip in his abdomen. So, we ended up leaving early, and I took him to the emergency room in Emmetsburg.

After spending several hours there taking tests etc., we learned that parts of his colon and his small intestine had slipped through the hernia into his scrotum. I'm using the correct words today because I caught hell for not saying what it really is rather than using the euphemism "nether regions." Of course, I used that euphemism out of sensitivity for him. I couldn't win for losing on that issue. So anyway, Ken was admitted to the hospital this afternoon, a little more than 12 hours before he was supposed to be admitted anyway. We hope this results in him having the surgery earlier and therefore having him out earlier.

In all this excitement, I cheated on the diet; however, I've been very good lately. So, I don't feel terribly guilty, and I think I've made enough meals this weekend, that I'll be able to zap most of them without any real cooking this week. I'll go down and see Ken after school every day out of concern, but also to alleviate boredom. He's spent too much time in hospitals over the last 4 months. It's the boredom and not the pain that gets to him. I may not be a sparkling conversationalist, but I am better than staring at 4 bare walls and watching bad television. We'll play several games of Scrabble over the next week.

I will not take it easy on him when we play these games. Scrabble is our game. And I will take advantage of every weakness I can. He'd do the same to me. We are well past being so considerate and polite in our relationship. Now we're both out for blood.

Avenue Q

Last night Mari, Louisa, and I went to Mason City to see Avenue Q. What a hoot! Avenue Q is an adult spoof of Sesame Street. I've never laughed so hard. Thank you Louisa!

Today, Ken should be singing one of the first songs from the show, "My Life Sucks." He's had a hell of a winter and now spring. He knew that he had a hernia, but up until recently, it hasn't given him too much trouble, but then today, it slipped into the nether regions. This means that he has to have another surgery and at least a week's stay in the hospital again. The concern of course is that he's already had one blood clot appear in his lungs, so he has to be carefully monitored and medicated. At least this time, he's ambulatory and the weather isn't so nasty.

In addition to the hospital run, I went to Spencer. I wanted to buy fencing for my yard, but because of the medical situation, Ken wasn't there to help me measure and I decided I'd just shop around without actually buying. It's a good thing I didn't buy. My guesstimate of the area I plan on fencing was 120 feet X 60 feet. I'll be honest, I can't eyeball an inch from a foot. I came home and did a rough measurement this evening. It's approximately 27 feet X 21 feet!!! At least now, I won't have a heart attack when I get the bill. I went through that today when I heard the estimation.

Oh, by the way, I dropped those Spring Break pounds and I've lost an additional 2 pounds. So, I've now lost 62 pounds.

Calorie Counts

I know not everyone is terribly excited about the new Health Care Law. I personally don't feel it's done enough. I believe we need to go to a one payer system...but that's not why I'm writing. I am very happy that one element of the Health Care Law is that restaurants with 20 or more places of business HAVE to give calorie counts on their menus. One of the most difficult things about dieting is eating out. And with today's industrial food system, what may look like a harmless hamburger can contain hidden sugars and fats. This may actually force them to provide more calorie conscious offerings. I'd like to see all restaurants do it. It's not that hard. You weigh and measure the ingredients and figure the calories. If I can do it at home so can restaurants. It would be nice to walk through the threshold of a restaurant and not feel as though you're committing a mortal sin. And I think it will be beneficial to those who aren't dieting as well. Are you as likely to order that delectable dessert if you know that it contains 1500 calories. That's more than I eat some days.

Hitting the Wall and then Bouncing Back

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I didn't write yesterday because I cheated again, and too guilty and embarassed to write. Well, you're wrong this time. Yesterday, I was simply exhausted. There were a lot of factors including not enough sleep, daylight savings time, and simply having a problem of getting back into the swing of things after a lovely Spring Break. I came home and fell asleep watching TV at around 5:30. I woke up and simply decided to go to bed.

However, I am feeling much better today. I'm trying to take it easy this evening. Tomorrow will also be a VERY busy day. I hope to get on the computer, but I'm not going to make any promises.

Tonight, I thought it was time to try another recipe. I decided to make Fish with Mango Relish. The fish itself was ok, but nothing to write home about; however, I might have made too many substitutions and it just didn't work. First of all, I used Alaskan Pollack instead of mahimahi. It's the fish I had on hand. Also, I used olive oil instead of vegetable oil. I just don't like vegetable oil any more.

But the relish was really good. It tasted and smelled so much like summer. I had to use store boughten basil, which was sort of sad. I usually grow my own basil and it's so much fresher. Now that the weather is nicer, I should go out and start some of my herbs sometime this week. I usually grow basil, oregano, sage, rosemary, and parsley. This year I think I'll grow even more. I'm thinking I'll grow some thyme, cilantro, and tarragon. The only one of those I haven't grown before is tarragon. I'm sure I'll be able to manage it. I love cooking with fresh herbs. For some reason, it tastes better when you've grown the herbs yourself. So, anyway, here's the recipe. It comes from Everyday Food.

Ingredients
1 ripe mango, peeled, pitted, and diced medium
1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded, and diced medium
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves, coarsely chopped
juice from 1 lime
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
coarse salt and ground pepper
4 mahimahi fillets (6 ounces each) skin off, or other firm flaky fish.
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Special Equipment
cast iron skillet

Preparation
1. In a medium bowl, toss together mango, cucumber, basil, lime juice, and olive oil. Season relish with salt and pepper
2. Heat a cast-iron skillet or grill pan over medium-high. Using a paper towel, blot fish dry. Season both sides with salt and pepper. When pan is hot, add vegetable oil, then gently add fish, working in batches if necessary (do not overcrowd pan). Cook fish, undisturbed until fillets release easily from pan, about 6 minutes. Flip and cook until opaque throughout, 4 to 6 minutes. Serve fish with relish.

Makes 4 servings with 308 calories per serving.

Turning Over a New Leaf

Today, I'm committed to starting over and moving on with my diet. This morning I had oatmeal for breakfast, and I walked to school.

Since I usually get to school at 6:00, I got myself up at 4:00. Even then, I found it difficult to get out of the house by 5:30. As usual, the hold up was trying to decide what to wear. I'm still not terribly happy with what I settled with.

For lunch I brought a poached chicken breast and butternut squash soup and rice cakes and an apple for my snacks. For supper I'll either have stir fry or tenderloins with spinach. This last week made me realize I need to be regimented if I'm going to succeed at this. I usually don't live like that. I've always cherished spontineity, but I'll sacrifice that if it helps!

The walking should help. I don't know if I'll be able to do it every day, but I'll try to walk as often as I can. The walk home this afternoon should be very pleasant.

Was Lost, but Now I'm Found

Although Spring Break has been wonderful, I'm afraid that I also took a big break from my diet. However, tomorrow I start back to school, and I will get back on the wagon. I learned a few things about myself during this process. One of the things that I learned is that the late night hours are my weakest. It's been easy to stay on the diet up until now because I've been going to bed at ridiculously early hours. If I'm going to stay up past 8:00, I have to have some sort of strategy in place. For instance, last night, I picked up my crocheting again. That should help. I've also found that doing some sort of domestic project in the evening helps. I started work on my porch and I cleaned the basement (nasty job) in the evening over break. Either that, or I simply need to go to bed. I'm much stronger in the morning.

So, the bad news is that I've gained 3 pounds...and although it'll be like starting over, I know I can do it. The good news is that I've really gotten a lot done during break. I had my mammogram, my allergy shot, and a blood draw. I've sanded and put primer on my porch floor. I've cleaned the basement, I've reorganized and cleaned my spice cupboard, I even started to rake the yard.

So everyone who's reading this, please, send me good vibes. I need to get my act together, and I'm determined, but I do believe in the power of emotional support. I need yours right now.

Thanks!

Summer in the Air

What an incredibly beautiful day...yes, I got my blood test and mammogram, but despite that, it's been a great day. It was warm enough, it really did feel like spring. And the sun and being able to go outside made it feel like summer. Now, don't string me up for saying this, but I'm sort of glad the weather is supposed to turn icky towards the end of the week. If it stays nice like this, it'll be so hard to go back to school and work inside for 10 or so hours a day.

Today, I realized that the roses Ken gave me were beyond their prime. So, I did what I always do with the roses he gives me, I hung them upside down to dry. When they've dried out, I cut the heads off, and put them in a glass cake pan (better flowers than cake). The picture above has 4 years of roses in it, minus the three that are now drying. What's truly marvelous is that whenever I open the lid, the smell of roses comes flooding out. It's even stronger than it is when they are in full bloom.

When I got back from Spencer, I decided to make the light vanilla pudding I write about on February 27th. I finally found vanilla beans yesterday. The vanilla bean I got is much fresher than the one I used last time which was several YEARS old. I don't know if the flavor was any better, but it was easier to cut and scrape. Also, I discovered that skim milk works just fine in place of the 1% the recipe calls for. This of course, really slims the recipe down quite a bit.

I've been bad the last couple of days. I think the stress of getting papers graded really got to me, and I haven't been very good since. School will get me back on track, but at the same time, I need to get my act together. If I wasn't running around so much, I'd settle down and do some cooking and find ways to keep busy here at home.

Fun Day

Today, since I had no plans, lying in bed this morning, I considered my options. At first I considered going to Mankato to go shopping, but I didn't want to drive that far just to go to a few stores. Instead, I decided I would go the Lakes for lunch and then to Spencer for further shopping and then stop in and visit my folks.

For lunch I went to this organic market/coop/restaurant. It's called The Market. There, I had a tuna salad wrap and a bottle of Kambucha (a fermented tea), and I read. It was very pleasant. Although the calories are more than I normally have for lunch, they are so good for me, I feel it was worth it. At the market I found quinoa, swiss chard, and a few other items. I'm not convinced that organic food is superior to other food, but I believe that when you eat organic you are eating healthier food because it's whole food. Not the overly processed foods which is the common fair at a traditional restaurant.

After lunch, I took off for Spencer. I stopped and got some necessities at Walgreens, then I went to Menards and went crazy. I bought a bunch of dog supplies, including some dog toys of which Buddy has already destroyed two. I also got paint and supplies. Later this week I'm going to paint my porch floor. I'm not looking forward to the chore, (I'm a terrible painter) but I'm looking forward to having my porch looking nice.

After Menards, I went to my Mom and Dad's. They are retiring and moving into another apartment soon, so I heard about their plans and saw the apartment again. After Mom and Dad's I went to a more traditional store and got many essentials including a ham for Ken's visit here.

Since I've been home, I was eager to try the Swiss Chard, so I made the pork tenderloin with Swiss chard that I describe on February 9th. It was VERY good, but I think I like the spinach better. The chard had an after taste, or more accurately an after feel. It left this feeling in my mouth that I get when I eat bananas that are too green. That's why I don't eat green bananas. I wonder if it has to do with the potasium? But still it was very good and a colorful and pretty dish.

Tomorrow, I go back to Spencer for an allergy shot, blood draw, and a mammogram. The latter doesn't thrill me at all, but I believe in being responsible for my life and body, and this is how I can be responsible.

Free at Last!!

I finally finished my grading at about noon today. What a relief. After I had lunch, I decided that I'd tackle the patio. My patio essentially acts like a bowl during the winter and it fills up with snow and ice. As I said before, with everything going on with Ken this winter, I didn't get my patio furniture away for the season. So, I got the patio furniture pulled out of the snow and ice, I sprayed them down and left them in the garage to dry off. Then I tackled the patio. It's not perfectly clean, but I took a big chunk out of it. I had to come in and warm up once, and then went out and finished it. Hopefully the sun will be cooperative and I'll be able to finish it off over the next couple of days.

Then after changing and warming up, I decided to give Joey a bath. She was sort of gross. Buddy is always chewing on her. Dog drool is like hairspray. It can be nasty. And Right now she looks like a miniature sheep dog. She needs a hair cut. I just scheduled it and I can't get her in until Good Friday. She was a very good girl during her bath. Buddy was obnoxious afterwards. It's as if I live with the Tommy and Dick Smothers of the dog world. He's in the basement right now because he drug me across the patio when I'd taken him out to go potty. I think he knows he was naughty. I haven't hear a peep out of.

Now that the patio is mostly cleaned off, Ken can come and visit me here. I've missed having him here. I'm very excited about it.

Tomorrow, I need to cook. My fridge is almost empty. I didn't do much cooking while I was grading papers.

Nose to the Grindstone

Today was a beautiful day, and I saw very little of it. I was grading research papers all day. My head exploded at about 5:30 and I packed it in and went to Ken's for pizza. It gets to a point where you can no longer read any more papers or your eyes will start bleeding. I still have 8 papers to grade tomorrow and get everything tallied up. I'll get through it tomorrow. I'm hoping to get started really early so that I'll have the afternoon to myself. If I do get things done on time, I'll work on cleaning up the winter mess from my patio. With all the craziness with Ken's broken hip, I never did get my patio furniture put away this winter. They look like hell. I'll have to get them cleaned up.

The picture above is of a sweet potato in a Tater Baker. My folks got this thing from someone. What it does is bake a potato in the microwave as nicely as they bake in the oven, and they don't need to be pricked, which is especially nice with sweet potatoes because they leak a sticky syrup as they bake. And even if they do mess up the Tater Baker, you can throw it into the dishwasher. It works with all kinds of vegetables. I'd like to tell you where they got them, but I'm not sure.

Brisk Morning Walks

I have a busy couple days ahead of me. I have to get all my papers graded and submitted before Tuesday. I'm working at home so I decided that I had better wear my dogs out early this morning so they'll sleep at least part of the day through and won't bug me. So, I was up at about 6:00, and I right away took them each for a long walk. I used the pinch collar on each of them, but with Buddy, I used the retractable leash. It gave him the range he likes but he didn't yank me around nearly so much. We'll gradually work into using the shorter leash. The streets were essentially deserted. It was really nice, maybe a bit nipper than I would have liked, but it was worth not having to deal with traffic, pedestrians, and little dogs.

Because of the busy day, I decided I needed to have a good protein for breakfast, but I didn't really want the same old thing. This is the beginning of my Spring Break, I can at least take the time to cook something different, and I really haven't done any breakfasts yet. I should tell you that I'm not terribly fond of traditional breakfast foods. I'd rather warm up left overs and even have spaghetti for breakfast although I would never turn down pancakes or bacon (I shouldn't even think of such things!) So, anyway, I decided to try out the recipe I found on page 84 of the January/February 2010 Everyday Food for Eggs with Mushrooms and Spinach. I overcooked the eggs a bit, but the eggs and the spinach were surprisingly good together.

This was a rather easy recipe and I didn't even bother to measure out the spinach or mushrooms. They're both so low in calories I could practically eat them in an unlimited supply. They take little time to cook. Only the preparation is only slightly tricky. I of course only made this for one, but the recipe is for 4 servings. It was very easy to adjust.

Ingredients
4 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing
1 box (10 ounces chopped frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed dry (I used some "fresh" loose leaf spinach that was sort of past its prime)
8 ounces cremini mushrooms, coarsley chopped. (I didn't have cremini mushrooms. I didn't even have any fresh mushrooms. I just used some canned button mushrooms. They worked just fine.)
8 large eggs
Coarse salt and ground pepper

Additional Supplies
White parchment paper cut and folded in the classic style. (The classic style is to fold a fairely large piece of parchment paper in half and cut a heart out of it as you would in grade school. Then after you've prepared the dish on half the paper, you fold the other half over it and fold the edges around it tightly shut.
It says that the brown parchment paper will overcook the eggs. All I had was brown paper and my eggs were hard rather than soft, but I also didn't here the timer go off right away and so they did have some extra cooking time too.

Preparation
1. Preheat over to 400°, with racks in upper and lower thirds. Prepare four 24-inch long pieces of parchment according to the "classic" method. Place two pieces on each of the two rimmed baking sheets. Brush half of each heart with oil. Place spinach, and mushrooms on oiled halves of parchment. Crack 2 eggs over each and drizzle them with 1 teaspoon of oil each. Season with salt and pepper. Fold each packet into a "classic" shape.

2. Bake until egg wihites are set, 6 to 9 minutes, rotat sheets halfway through. Serve immediately.

Each packet has 222 caloies.

I suppose I had better get to those papers!

Soothing my Bruises with Rice Pudding

Today, I took Buddy out walking with a new collar and leash. I'm trying to teach him to walk with me and not drag me along behind him. Frankly, I have a couple of very sore shoulders because of all of his yanking. The collar is called a pinch collar and as he pulls it pinches his neck a bit, but if he walks with me nicely it doesn't hurt at all. Well, there were some instances of success, but...of course you knew there was a but, if there there's something he sees, like an empty plastic pop bottle or a drive-thru cup, no little pinch is going to stop him.

I was fine until a little dog came running up from a house, not on a leash, and Buddy had to investigate. We were fine all standing around sniffing each others' butts when the owner came out and shouted for the little dog to come. The little dog took off, but so did Buddy, and I, unprepared, went with him. He pulled me right into a pile of snow. My knee is bruised along with my pride. The owner of the little dog disappeared. His head probably exploded when he heard what I said when I fell down. I think we're really going to have to work with that leash. I don't know if Buddy will ever learn to heel, but I won't give up on him.

Things are Back to Normal

Last night, when I started to think about what I wanted to write about, I realized that I couldn't write about it until I got back to work this morning.

I've mentioned earlier in this blog that my boyfriend Ken had fallen and broken his hip early in December. It's taken a long time, but Ken is doing much better. Yesterday, he came to my office bearing gifts. It's been his habit to bring me roses on a regular basis and he hasn't been able to do it since his injury. I always tell him not to bother, but he has sense enough to realize that he should anyway. :) Smart man. Walking into my office this morning, I was greeted with the delectable smell of roses.

It's raining here this morning. It's sort of cold and clammy, but I'll put up with it as long as it melts away all the snow and ice we've accumulated. Today, if I get out of here early enough, I'll take the dogs for walks even though it is raining. They'll enjoy the fresh clean air too.

Recovered

I'm feeling much better this afternoon. I didn't go to school today. I think it helped me get over this thing. Apparently it's going around. Mari mentions in her blog yesterday that she was "feeling a bit punk," and I know of several other people who aren't feeling well. I can't complain. It's been a bad year for bugs, and this is the first time I've gotten sick this school year, discounting injuries.

So, while at home today, I slept in, graded papers, and I ordered tomatoes. I don't know what I was thinking. But I ordered my tomatoes for mid-April. That's a month early. Either I haven't recovered as well as I thought, or I'm so anxious for spring that I got ahead of myself, or maybe it is a combination of the two. Once I realized how ridiculous it was to order them so soon, I called seed-savers and had them change the order for a more reasonable time. The woman on the line seemed to understand completely. I wonder how many other people have made the same mistake I have this year.

This evening, I decided to try a simple new recipe for Old-Bay Roasted Sweet Potatoes. I ran into one of my students at the grocery store and he swore by Old-Bay. So, I thought I'd go ahead and give it a shot. Frankly, I prefer a baked sweet potato with salt and pepper. Old Bay is too heavy on the celery flavor. I like a small amount of celery cooked into food, but I'm not a big fan of the flavor. So, if you are a fan of celery, you might want to try this one. It comes from page 105 of January/February 2010 Everyday Food.

Ingredients
1.5 pounds sweet potatoes
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1.5 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning

Preparation
Preheat oven to 450°. On a rimmed baking sheet, toss 3 medium sweet potatoes scrubbed and cut into 1-inch pieces with 1 tablespoon olive oil and Old Bay seasoning. Bake until potatoes are deep golden brown on all sides, about 30 minutes flipping halfway through.

Serves 4 at 178 calories per serving.

This is NOT how I want to lose weight!!!

Today, I taught my first two classes. Everything was going just fine. Then about 12:30, shortly after I finished my lunch, my stomach started hurting, and it kept hurting. I was feeling nauseous and I knew I had to come home. I've been home for several hours. I have to run back and forth to the bathroom. My temperature is 95.4 degrees. I'm freezing. And my stomach keeps gurgling as well as hurting. And all I want to do is cook with my dogs underfoot. I think cooking has become my comfort these days. I think this is a step forward.

I sort of hope this is due to something I ate. If it is, it should pass quickly and I'll be able to get back to school and my routine. If it's not???

Worn Out Buddy

A miracle has happened. I was actually able to wear Buddy out this morning.

The dogs are in a routine. They're used to waking up at an ungodly early hour during weekdays, so when the sun comes up on the weekends they start barking. I'm very lucky if I'm able to sleep until 7:00 a.m. Today, that's exactly how long I was able to hold out. So, we pottied and I had my breakfast. Yesterday, there were strawberries available. So, I had strawberries and rice pudding for breakfast.One more touch of spring, and for being so early in the season, they were delicious.

It's foggy and very drippy out, so I pulled on my muck boots and popped on my ear poppers (ear muffs without the strap) hooked Buddy up to the leash and we took off. We must have walked for about 45 minutes. Once Buddy was walked, it was Joey's turn, I even gave her a double block walk. When Joey and I got back, Buddy was down in the basement lying in his dog house. Even when I came down to clean things up there, he stayed in the dog house. This is not like Buddy at all. He's always up and following me around. He had to be exhausted. However, not to give you the wrong impression, Buddy doesn't just walk along with me. He bounds up every pile of snow he can, and now that it's soft and melting, he practically has to swim through the stuff. He's really exerting a lot of energy.

Right now, the house is peaceful, both dogs are down taking a morning nap. Oh, to have the life of a dog! Eat, pee, poop, walk, play, chew, and sleep. I need to train them to chew through a couple of those papers I have to grade. Do you think the teacher can get away with saying "My dog ate your homework"?

The End of a Crazy Week

Between trying to get papers graded and a sleepless exhausting day, this week has been something else. On top of it all, I found out yesterday afternoon that grades are due on the 16th and not on the 8th as I thought. I had misread the schedule. What a relief. I didn't think I was going to get it all done in time. It was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. The elimination of that stress made it easier for me to stick to my diet the last two days, and I'm happy to say that I can officially say that I've lost 60 pounds despite having fallen off the wagon on Thursday.

Tonight I tried a new recipe with a new ingredient for me: Kale with Tomato, Garlic, and Thyme. I really liked this dish. It would make a great quick and easy summer lunch or dinner. Although the tomatoes were nearly tasteless, the kale made up for it. As I was cooking the Kale, I kept thinking it smelled familiar, and yet, I couldn't place it. It tasted a bit like a cross between brocolli and spinach. And the color was unbelievably refreshing after this long colorless winter. I'm sure with fresh homegrown tomatoes this is an outstanding meal. The acidity of the tomatoes really compliments the kale.

I got this recipe from page 23 of the January/February 2010 Everyday Food.

Ingredients
1 Tablespoon and 2 teaspoons Olive Oil
2 garlic cloves
2 cups cherry tomatoes
1.5 teaspoons thyme leaves
1 pound boiled Kale
Salt and Pepper

Preparation

In large skillet, heat 1 tablespoon olive oil over medium. Add 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced and cook, stirring until fragrant, 30 seconds. Add 2 cups cherry tomatoes, quartered, and 1.5 teaspoons fresh thyme leaves. Cook until tomatoes begin to break down, 2 minutes. Add 1 pound boiled, chopped kale leaves and cook until heated through, 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Drizzle with 2 teaspoons oil.

Makes 4 servings at 125 calories per serving not including the pasta.

Hungover...from Food!

I know this may sound strange, but I swear I have a food hangover this morning. Yesterday, I was so cocky saying that the trick is to know what your issues are and preparing for them. I might have dealt with my need to crunch yesterday, but I didn't know how to deal with my exhaustion. I came in to work yesterday at the ridiculously early hour of 4:30 a.m. I had awakened at 2 and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I thought I wouldn't waste time just lying there. Anyway, by the time my day was done at 4:00 p.m., I was completely wiped out. And with my problem discerning the difference between being tired and being hungry, I became Godzilla wiping out Tokyo. My drug of choice, pizza.

This really was the first time that kicked into full binge mode since I've started this diet. Fortunately, I've been down this road enough times before that I know it doesn't mean I'm a complete failure and that I can't get back on the wagon. Like everyone else with an addiction, I simply need to take one day at a time, and forgive myself these lapses.

I don't think I've talked about how food can be an addiction before. Unlike other addictions, it isn't a necessary part of life. Anyone who has given up an addiction will tell you how hard it is. What if you had to give up smoking, but you had to smoke in order to live? That's what dieting is. It's that damn moderation thing again!!!

Anyway, I binged out last night, and today I have a hangover. I have a slight headache, my mouth tastes horrible, and I can't drink enough water. Sounds like a hangover doesn't it. Who knows? Maybe this is a good thing. In contrast to how I was feeling when I was following my diet, it emphasizes the effect food has on me when I'm bad. I felt like this all the time before my diet. Sometimes a little negative reinforcement can go a long way.

Next time I have a hangover, I hope its because I have had a few too many drinks and not too much food.

The Need to Crunch

Right now, I'm under a grade crunch. Midterm grades are due on Monday. My Composition II class has just submitted their first major research paper. I have about 100 papers to grade, and I give thorough responses. So, as I'm chewing up papers,I frequently have this need to chew up food. Crunchy or chewy stuff is the most satisfying. Chewy isn't usually as dietarily sound. I think of Twizzlers and Gummy Bears...I just can't eat those on my diet. But crunchy I can do. I brought in a bag of rice cakes and a bag of carrots. I like both of these and they should help me get through the day.

I think the key to success is to be aware of your individual weaknesses and habits. So, if you hear a loud chomping noise, it's probably just me chewing through a research paper.

Happy Birthday Mari!!

Today is my friend Mari's birthday. I gave her a couple of doilies I had crocheted as part of her gift. She suggested that I write a blog about crocheting...I think that would even put me to sleep, but it got me thinking. One of my techniques to avoid food is to keep my hands busy. I eat out of boredom. If my hands are full and my mind is occupied, it's easier for me to stay away from snack foods. So I knit or crochet, especially during the winter. When the weather gets nicer, I'll go out and walk, garden, putz around in the yard. Although I love doing it, reading doesn't quite do it. It's too easy to read and eat with one hand. But I can always listen to books on tap or MP3 recordings while I knit, crochet, walk etc.

So, if you're trying to stop snacking, "Knit one purl two!" :)

I am NOT the Energizer Bunny

I simply can't keep going. But today, it felt as though I was trying. It was a very long day that started at 4:30 a.m. We're nearly at midterm, and this is when I need to push in order to get everything graded. So when I left school today, I had two thoughts: the dogs weren't going to get a walk, and I was going to eat something I shouldn't. Actually, I was thinking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

However, somewhere, somehow, in the 7 or so blocks between work and home, I found the strength. Although the dogs didn't get long walks, they each got a walk. And I didn't gorge on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I made some soy and ginger, chicken in the crock pot for tomorrow, and I did resort to one of the commercial diet, TV dinner things. In both instances, I compromised with myself. I know from experience, even though I feel like I want to just collapse in my chair, I will find more energy by walking, and although I think I'm really hungry, I'm actually just tired, and I won't find energy from bingeing. This time logic won out. It's always a struggle.

On Hormones

I'll admit it. I'm 50 years old. It's hard to believe. In my head, I'm still 18 or so. But the reality is, my body is aging and I have a lot more aches and pains than I ever did before, and things are just wearing out. This summer I had a hysterectomy. Although it was a very good thing, I do notice subtle differences since then, like my skin and hair are dryer. In order to deal with the more extreme effects of my sudden menopause, I'm seeing a doctor who specializes in this area of medicine. After being tested for hormonal levels,she put me on a progesterone cream. Estrogen is stored in fat cells. It's no wonder I had plenty of the stuff. In addition, I have a long history with hormonal imbalance. I have...er, had polycystic ovarian syndrome. Essentially, I wasn't producing progesterone because I wasn't ovulating. I was receiving therapy for this for years. But since the hysterectomy, the progesterone cream has done wonders for me. I no longer have hot flashes or night sweats. I also really think it's helped me with my mental state. I feel much more grounded than I was before the treatments. And I know it's been beneficial for my weight loss efforts. During menopause, belly-fat in particular can be problematic. I feel better than I have in years...ok, my joints ache and I'm always cold, but I guess at my age, I can't expect miracles.

Yes, I am concerned about breast cancer, but I don't have a strong family history of breast cancer, and I have a mammogram done annually. I think in some ways, there was an overreaction to HRT. I'm happy with it. And maybe, after I've reached my weight loss goals, I can stop taking it because a lot of the estrogen will have been eliminated from my system.