Today has been a stressful day, and like an alcoholic or a drug addict, I want to reach out to my addiction. I want comfort foods. So, I need to more fully utilize other de-stressing methods.

I used to meditate on a regular basis, and I haven't done this in years. The other night when I took a nice long soak in Ken's big tub, I gave it a try. It was pathetic. I had no focus at all. I know I should definitely get back into it. Meditation can be very healing, and in a sense, that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to heal not only my body, but my lifestyle, my soul.

I know I've said this over and over, but I need to get out and walk. The exercise will definitely help me lose weight, and build muscle and bone, but it will also calm me. I'm determined that as soon as the weather warms enough to tolerate spending more than 15 minutes outside at a time, I'm going to start walking to school.

I'm actually pretty good at sleeping. There have been times in my life when I suffered from terrible insomnia. I'm glad that's no longer a problem. But I could use more relaxation time. As it is now, although I eat my lunch in my office, I try to put the papers away, and listen to NPR's "Morning Edition" while I eat. I'm always interrupted by students, but I do try.

When Mari and I went shopping two weeks ago, we stopped at a local garden center. She mentioned doing that again soon. I really think soaking in the warmth, the smell, and the colors, could go a long way to helping soothe me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to be kinder and gentler to myself, which really is contrary to the way I was raised. I was always told to "suck it up." I guess in a way, I took that expression too literally. :)